What Actually Makes a Family Holiday Feel Relaxing

Before we had kids, we were never the kind of travellers who packed our days full of itineraries. We’ve always loved slowing down long enough to actually feel a place. The local food, little villages, beaches, surf, people and everyday moments that make somewhere memorable. And honestly, having kids didn’t really change that.

Somewhere along the way, we realised most children don’t actually need packed schedules or endless expensive activities to enjoy a holiday. They mostly want to swim, eat, play, feel safe and spend time close to you. That’s probably why slower family travel ended up suiting us so well.

We started choosing holidays that gave us more breathing room. Less rushing. Less pressure to “do it all and see it all”. More time to properly settle into a destination instead of just ticking it off. Now that our kids are getting older, we’ve found ourselves leaning even more into showing them the real world beyond the walls of a resort.

Different cultures, local communities, nature, food and the beauty of seeing how other people live. But at the same time, we completely understand the value of a resort holiday too. Sometimes tired parents and overstimulated kids genuinely need ease, convenience and a week where nobody has to think too hard.

We love all kinds of travel depending on the season of life we’re in and what we need from the trip. For us, the key has simply been learning that the best family holidays are usually the ones that feel the most aligned with your family, not the ones trying to impress everyone else.

For us, the biggest thing that changed family travel was letting go of the pressure to constantly “make the most” of every single day. We don’t overpack our itineraries and we rarely try to cram too much in. This probably gives some people anxiety, but sometimes we don’t even have our next stop booked yet.

Occasionally, we don’t even know exactly when we’re heading home. Because sometimes we fall in love with a place and stay longer, or meet people and end up going in a completely different direction. Some of our favourite memories have come from the slower moments. Long afternoons by the pool, wandering local villages, hunting for waves to surf, eating somewhere simple while the kids play nearby, or stumbling across places we never planned to see.

We also love staying somewhere long enough to properly settle in instead of rushing through destinations just to tick them off. Even a few extra nights can completely change the feel of a trip.

When it comes to accommodation, we usually focus more on what will make life easier as a family rather than what looks the fanciest online. Things like a kitchen, space to spread out, a pool, laundry, or somewhere walkable make a huge difference when travelling with kids.

We usually end up finding longer-stay apartments, villas or family-friendly accommodation through Airbnb and Booking.com depending on the type of trip we’re planning. And honestly, we’ve realised children don’t actually need endless entertainment to enjoy themselves. Our kids are happiest swimming, collecting shells, surfing, eating ice cream, making friends and simply being part of whatever we’re doing.

We’ve also learnt that different holidays serve different purposes. Sometimes we want culture, adventure and local experiences, and other times we just want a relaxing resort holiday where everyone can properly switch off.

There’s no “right” way to travel as a family. It’s more about finding what feels aligned for your family in that season of life. Over time, we’ve realised it’s often the small, practical things that make family travel feel easier.

One of the best things we ever started doing was giving each of the kids their own backpack with snacks, activities, headphones and little comfort items. It gives them a sense of independence and saves us digging through bags every five minutes. We’ve been using the backpacks from Twisty Kids lately and they’ve honestly been so good for travel days.

For longer stays, we always prioritise accommodation with a kitchen and laundry. It might not sound glamorous, but being able to throw on a load of washing, cut up fruit for the kids or make an easy breakfast can completely change the pace and stress levels of a trip.

We also try not to move around too often. Constantly packing up and changing locations can quickly turn travel into survival mode instead of something enjoyable. One thing we always do when we land somewhere new is a grocery stop before anything else.

Having snacks, breakfast food and a few easy staples sorted straight away makes everything feel calmer from day one.

If we’re staying somewhere with a buffet breakfast, we’ll often bring along a couple of lunchboxes and quietly pack some fruit or snacks for later in the day too. It saves money, avoids constant snack stops and makes outings so much easier with kids.

We use the b.box lunchboxes constantly when we travel because they fit so much in and don’t leak through backpacks. We’ve also learnt not to overcommit ourselves with rigid plans. Kids get overtired, overstimulated or wake up in completely foul moods sometimes, and suddenly the “perfect day” you planned no longer feels worth forcing.

Flexible travel works much better for us. Slow mornings, downtime and swim breaks usually create far better memories than racing from place to place trying to tick everything off.

Another thing I never travel without is a wet bag tucked into our backpack. No matter where we are, we somehow always end up near water. Beaches, pools, waterfalls or random roadside swim stops. Having bathers ready to go, plus somewhere easy to throw wet clothes afterwards, makes life so much easier. Realistically, our kids spend most holidays living in bathers anyway.

One thing that’s become really important to us is having our own transport wherever possible. In Asian countries, we love hiring scooters that fit the four of us, and elsewhere we’ll usually hire a car. Having that freedom completely changes the experience of a trip. It lets you explore at your own pace, discover quieter places, stop when you want to and see so much more than you would staying close to your accommodation the whole time.

We also pack far less than we used to. I usually pack our suitcases, then go back and cull them at least two more times. You rarely need as much as you think you do, especially with kids. Packing cubes have also made a huge difference for keeping everyone organised, especially on longer trips. We use these simple Kmart packing cubes for most of our travel now and it’s made packing so much easier.

Most importantly, we’ve learnt to prioritise experiences over stuff, build proper rest days into trips, travel in shoulder season where we can, and keep our expectations realistic. We also try to travel in shoulder season where we can. Flights are often cheaper, destinations feel less crowded and the overall experience tends to feel far more relaxed with kids.

We usually keep an eye on flights through Skyscanner because being flexible with dates can make a huge difference to overall travel costs.

Family holidays don’t need to look perfect online to become some of your favourite memories. And honestly, if there’s one thing we’d encourage other families to do, it’s to stop waiting for the “perfect” time to travel. There will always be reasons to put it off. The kids are too little, it’s too hard, too expensive, too inconvenient, maybe next year when things calm down. But we’ve learnt there’s no magical perfect age or perfect season where family travel suddenly becomes easy. Every stage comes with its own challenges, but also its own kind of magic.

Travelling with kids won’t always be relaxing. Sometimes it’s messy, loud, exhausting and far from perfect. Sometimes you even think, why the hell did I bother? But it’s also where some of the best family memories are made. The conversations, the shared experiences, the uncontrollable giggles that end in sore stomachs, and the little moments they still randomly talk about months or years later. Those are the things that stay with them.

For us, travel has never really been about luxury or ticking destinations off a list. It’s about time together. Showing our kids different parts of the world, different people, cultures and ways of living. Helping them build confidence, curiosity and connection to something bigger than their everyday routine.

We’ve realised the holidays our kids talk about later on aren’t usually the fanciest ones. They’re the ones where we were the most connected. And the truth is, before you know it, they’ll grow up. They’ll have school, sport commitments, jobs, relationships and eventually their own lives. The years where they genuinely want to adventure alongside you are actually quite short. So, if you can, take the trip. Even if it’s not perfect. Even if it’s close to home. Even if it looks different to everyone else’s version of travel online.

Because the memories you make together as a family are often the ones that shape them forever.

Alana Tabak is the creator behind The Travelling Tabaks, an Australian family travel platform documenting the adventures of her family of four as they explore the world a little slower and a little more realistically. For more on Alana click here.